There have been times in life when I had wanted to give up, leave quietly, when I thought I could never keep up. At times I have blended, twisted and moulded myself to fit in. This fear of trying to fit in, had me sometimes comparing myself and my life to others and feeling of not being enough. At times it’s resulted in me being workaholic trying to prove myself. At times procrastinating and not finishing what I started. . . . thinking it’s not good enough.
From childhood, we are expected to excel at whatever we do, we are always told examples for successful high ranking people and stories of people who are changing the world in bigger way. We live in this immense pressure that we will never be able to measure up to those expectations. I have come to realise that you need to clearly understand whose measure/expectations are we measuring ourselves against.
Do you have those big, messy, random scribbled papers that the kids bring home from childcare or school? Although you judge them to be imperfect, but for the kid it’s their best art, a joyful expression of their newly found power to make a mark. It’s their best time, the painting and its expression is good enough for them. They understand it’s not a finished product but a work in progress, with all the ‘messy colours’, ‘broken lines’ and ‘crushed paper’.
There is a lesson in these ‘imperfect masterpieces. They teach us that same as the painting, you are work in progress, growing, changing and evolving continuously. That you are being yourself are enough, without trying to prove anything to anyone.
In this creative journey of self-exploration, using one of these beautiful masterpieces from my daughter, and a quick doodle is another shared ‘art piece’. Another DIY for all those white rolls lying around the house. Pick them and make your own. Or if you need some know-how, happy to help making your very own, ‘YOU ARE ENOUGH’ poster. Mind you though, I had no intention of making the original painting better, it was complete or enough to be put in frame and displayed. All I wanted was to explore and experience the same joy that my daughter would have experienced, be a part of her journey.
This creative pursuit, is a self-care therapy for me, doing something I love doing. It’s a promise to myself that I matter, I am important and I am enough. So stop judging yourself especially to others expectations/ measures. I have started learning to except my messiness, my imperfections and my fears. And embrace that “I am enough”. Everyday I forgive myself for being imperfect best and shake off all the self-judgement and critical thoughts and realise that today, this simple, ordinary, beautiful day is a fresh start.
“Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.”
Brené Brown